Things they never taught you in Sunday school

First of all, let me ask you all where the time has gone? Last post was in January. Alas, I am not a dedicated blogger, folks. And now, let's get to the subject of this post. It was going to be about our magnificent (and when I say magnificent, I mean magnificent! Not kinda fun, or sorta cool, or even splendid, I mean magnificent!) trip to Chicago to celebrate our anniversary and to worship at the altars, I mean restaurants, of Rick Bayless. Instead, I find myself compelled to share with you a spiritual lesson I learned on my refrigerator the other morning. No, it's not the image of the Virgin Mary made out of the smudges on the front of the fridge door. It's not a message from the Creator spelled out in alphabet magnets. It's something Ike created. I'm sure he is destined to become one of the great religious and spiritual leaders of the future. (Oh, and yes, this is made from a set of Nativity magnets. And yes, they are still there from Christmas. Don't judge!) Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the gospel according to Ike- Apparently, in this little known version of the story, baby Jesus (that scamp!) has decided to use his godly powers to ride on the star-that-shone-in-the-east's tail. In this close up, you can clearly see that both baby Jesus and the star are having a high-ole-time! Both shouting, "Wheee!" One of the biggest mysteries of this escapade was why He took the manger with him. Was it like a rocket ship or a magic carpet? Or was it because he enjoyed lounging whilst cavorting through the heavens? I will have to leave that up to your interpretation, my friends. The other aspect of this scenario that needs our attention is the reaction of the Lord's parents. Take a look at what is happening in this close up. Joseph is yelling, or exclaiming loudly, "Come Back!" But he doesn't look particularly alarmed that his son is traipsing through the skies on the tail of a star. His unconcerned smile seems to be saying, "Oh that boy!" in a proud papa kind of way. His hands extended in a little shrug of, whataya gonna do with him? And Mary? She sits with a benign smile on her face, hands folded in prayer. Maybe she is doing what all mothers do and is closing her eyes when the kids are doing something reckless. The way I do when my boys are skateboarding down the hill at break-neck speeds or when they were smaller and would hurl themselves down the slide. The way I will do when they drive away from me in the car the first time they drive solo. There she is, hands folded, face calm, silent prayers sent to heaven that He will come home safe. That is what Mary is doing. I have to admit that I'm never that calm about the whole recklessness thing though. Obviously, this is one of the reasons she was chosen to be the mother of the Lord, she can remain calm even in extreme situations! I guess being the parents of a supreme being can be challenging, but you just have to have the right mindset about it all. So, children, what have we learned today in class? Well, in the book of Ike, chapter one, the Lord is an irrepressibly fun-loving being. Not a bad way to look at it if you ask me.

Questions

Let's say that you are out on a cool and cloudy Saturday afternoon, taking a walk in a lovely wooded park. You are walking on a wide paved trail (it's actually what used to be a street through a subdivision), enjoying your music, the brisk weather, the exercise. Now, walking in front of you is a woman with two dogs on leashes. You notice that she is having some difficulty with the dogs. They are medium to largish dogs and are very excited. They are bouncing along the trail, pulling at the leashes, going in opposite directions. At one point, she does some kind of spin around thing to untangle the leashes. And then, oh no!, her ipod is falling out of her pocket and as she is rearranging and putting earbuds back in, she removes one of her gloves and it falls to the ground. This all happens while she is continuing to walk.

Question: Do you call out to the woman? Alert her to the mishap? Maybe yell something like, "Hey crazy dog lady! You dropped your glove, you may want to get it!" Or something else along those lines. You could maybe even pick it up and hand it to her. (Crazy idea, I know!) Or, do you choose the schmuck way and just let her continue walking for a quarter mile until she goes to put her glove back on and discovers that it isn't under her arm where she had tucked it while she wrangled with leashes and earbuds?

Question: When said woman realizes she has dropped her glove and now has to turn around and go back a quarter mile to get it and that you had to have noticed her glove falling to the ground way back there and chose not to tell her, is it ok for her to set loose the hounds on your inconsiderate ass?

Final question: Do you know how hard it is to clean up the dogs when they are all schmutzic?